Random Comments

Handling Critics:

Someone came up to me to inquire, “How long does your show last?”

I replied, “I don't know. I just goof around until they kick me out.”

Being a helpful soul he kindly pointed out, “That's not good practice. You should leave them wanting more.”

I pointed out in return, “Well, maybe they would want more, if I did practice.” And that's when he walked away. So I figured I'd won.

About Fame:

I suppose I'm as famous as my meager talents will allow. However, if I pass from this Earth in some spectacularly thunderous manner my fame will be as bright and brief as lightning. That would be a terrible thing, because it's too late to cash in on it.

Isn't that the way? I do all the work and the late night news gets all the glory.

A Question:

“How do you do all this physical stuff at your age?”

“Oh, I don't worry about doing this now. I'm wondering about tomorrow...

A Premonition:
Years ago, when I was young and naive, I stuck a fork into a jar of olives, casually pulling out six at once. I felt right then - I was destined for great things. 

Now, being old and naive, I realize the essentialness of naivety.